Wellworth It?

It just had to happen, on the eve of my signing the contract to sell this house. There's a leak in my master bathroom toilet. This poor bathroom, with its year-old Wellworth toilet. Two pieces are better than one, right? Right. The bottom line: was it Wellworth it?

Here are several little pieces related to this wonder. Need I warn you to read at your own risk?

IT’S JUST ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY IF…

… My brand-new Kohler Well Worth toilet can’t handle my dump, and I have to move it to my ancient American Standard. Wrapped in toilet paper, of course. Oh, the ignominy of it all.
… I lather myself at least three times over with my Crabtree & Evelyn Damask Rose shower gel, just to get rid of the imaginary scent I’m sure the dump imbued me with.
… I come home to discover I owe even more money for that blasted Well Worth toilet. The plumbing company’s head takes it under advisement: still waiting to hear from him. Should have told him about its inefficacy.
… I answer the 4:15 knock on the door, fully expecting it to be my cleaning ladies. Instead, it turns out to be… an even zanier than I cleaning fluid salesman. We shoot the bull for a while, but I don’t buy it. Enough dump for one day, right?
… My cleaning ladies show up at 5:15, instead. They got lost. They’ve only been to my house half a dozen times, that’s all.
… I mess around with the computer, waiting for the ladies to finish. Then I dump on them about the people-pleasing, nerve-wracking week that lies in front of me.
… When they leave, I begin to cry as I leisurely clean up after them. The cleaning up after the cleaning is my wont; the crying isn’t (plus I have a migraine), because…
… It’s not just another Manic Monday.
Now I really took a dump. This one, however, is biodegradable.

2/14/05

N.B.: I had to edit this one, folks. Otherwise, I'd have a bunch of people who'd want to take a dump on me.

And this is what happens when I'm blocked--one of the things, anyway:

Writhing – oops, I mean, writing – within myself

Righting some wrongs

Introspective

To the max

Energizing my insides

Ranting, railing, roiling within

‘ (A pause)

Such is my life when I am


Blocked.

Like my Well Worth that morning,

Out. Out it came.

Curses – it wouldn’t flush.

Kohler, you’re not in my corner, today.

3/28/05

First thing Monday: call the plumber. Racking up the water bill enough as it is, what with all the sod-watering involved in order to produce "curb appeal."

And I want to do this again, somewhere else? I must be nuts.

I say, again: is it Wellworth it?