Cialis On A Disk, etc., etc.

Just read.

PECKERS, ONE AND ALL

Binary Service

We women are like computers. Don’t believe me?
Installing Windows Service Pack 2 via a 56K modem is like waiting for a man to ejaculate when he’s beginning to grow more than a little tiresome within you.
Imagine: he even keeps performing a cleanup before he’s climaxed. Fastidious little devil, isn’t he?
With your eyes glazing over in front of the computer screen, you “think of England”: you tune out, yet keep half an eye open, half an ear cocked.
You’re raring to get this over and done with.
The wait is interminable. However, the installation bar inches along—slowly, ever so slowly—from left to right. You begin to think about breathing a sigh of relief.
Then the bar appears to stop moving. You all but stop breathing. This can’t be happening…
Dejectedly, you resign yourself to your fate.
All of a sudden—when you’ve given up all hope—POOF! BAM!
Once the installation is complete, Windows shuts down, restarts, and is ready to go again.
What about YOU? You now have a headache.
But, wait. Your computer informs you that you might be at risk.
That’s when your Norton kicks in. As your computer security monitoring system, it informs you to “use your existing Norton product alerts and turn off redundant Windows Security alerts.”
Do you comply? You have no choice.
For then—and only then—will you be able to log in, turn on, and, eventually, tune out again.
Oh, for the good old days, when binary service was merely two digits away.

Cialis On A Disk

Sex, computers, us = one and the same. Here’s more proof:
Error messages begin to flash on your screen when Windows, with its spanking new Service Pack 2, boots up. Terrified you’re going to crash, you call a tech consultant. Is this your lucky day, or what? It’s a woman on the other end of the line!
She listens attentively, clucks sympathetically, and then sternly informs you to uninstall Windows Service Pack 2. She holds your hand—at a distance, of course—as you gleefully watch the uninstall bar zoom by much, much faster this time around.
Then she instructs you to order the CD version of the installation from Microsoft.
Windows Service Pack 2 on a CD? Let’s see, now: a compact installation, with no fits, starts, and spurts, as via a 56K modem.
Your man’s about to take a pill. Longer-lasting, let’s assume it’s Cialis. Cialis on a disk.

All Roads Lead To DSL

But, wait! You’ve had it with these limping, pill-popping geezers, so you order DSL service. Aah, DSL, in its state of adolescent ever-readiness. YIPPEE!!
Not so fast: like an old man, it coughs and wheezes from time to time.
What about YOU? Your headache now ebbs and flows with your needs, which are not necessarily in sync with those of your young Priapus wannabe.
So what’s a hormonally challenged woman to do?
Keep pecking away.