O Orrechi Mi

O ORRECHI MI

Choice morsels from an evening out at a fundraiser for a certain club in my acquaintance:

Wine Not?

Engaging in a conversation with a very friendly Board member and her husband, or with the Stiff Kraut at my table (can’t remember which), one of them volunteered the phrase. Whoever came up with it, Salute!

Mr. Surplus

Now this definitely occurred while I was in line to buy wine. Looking at a guy’s nametag, there it was: Joe Somebody Surplus. Could I resist asking him about it? Of course not. And of course he’s borne the brunt of his name for many years: he told me that while he worked at a bank, he loved to tell people that the bank carried a surplus.
I wonder if he’s ever been audited by the I.R.S.

Are You Goyim?

At my table, the Kraut had brought two friends. They seemed friendly enough. One had a distinctly heavy accent. The other appeared to be mute.
I was attempting to carry on a bit of a forced conversation with the Kraut. At some point, she mentioned her friends spoke Spanish. One (her friend, who it turned out is the mother of an orthopedic surgeon I consulted, a Cuban Sephardic Jew) had her cousin visiting from Mexico (the mute one – mute because she doesn’t speak any English).
So, of course, again I couldn’t resist. Leaning over a bit, I mentioned to the ladies that I spoke Spanish. By then the Greek lady sitting next to the mute cousin had piped in, as it turned out she also speaks some Spanish. And she’s also a Sephardic Jew.
So what did I do, just to test the waters? I asked the Kraut’s friends: Are you Goyim?
At this point, one of the other ladies at our table, in an attempt to join in the conversation, asked the mute one: Are you going to Mexico?
Everyone’s wires were crossed by then. Are you Goyim to Mexico, indeed?
It all straightened out in the end.
But it was fun while it lasted…